I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
