So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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