get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
