I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
