im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
