I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
