why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize