just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
