i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
