I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
