just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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