Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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