yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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