so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I will be naked everywhere
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
