Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
