Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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