Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
