yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
false alarm. still invincible.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
the night ended with taco bell and tears
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
