i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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