Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
