No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
