my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
