Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize