i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
two words...techno handjob
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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