can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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