Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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