Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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