Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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