Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i think i just lost a toe
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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