then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
