i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
