I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Floor bacon is actually really good
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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