everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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