Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
