Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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