just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
