Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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