Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
