Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
