You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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