you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
