I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
