I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
