come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
