You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize