just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
