would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
