Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
