Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
