We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You work out of a Hotel?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
what day is it and did you see me today?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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