my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I love you.
Bad choice
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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