i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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