I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
