I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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