I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
