Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize