You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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