Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
