I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
