What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
