OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
