Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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