just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
