So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Randomize
