I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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