then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
