Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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