I want to walk on stilts...naked
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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