Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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