this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Alive.
So much puke
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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