If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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